A week ago I packed up my stuff in the press office and said good-bye to my job as communications advisor in the U.S. Senate.
Looking back it's hard to believe I worked there for 5 1/2 years. The longest I've stayed at a job by far. When I started I was a newlywed and when I left I was a frazzled mother of two. ;) But really, I'm so glad I had the chance to work for an office that was so supportive of staffers and their families. Sen. DeMint was more than generous with maternity leave and flexible office hours and for that I'll always be grateful, trusting me to stay on top of my workload from home when necessary.
Working full time sure taught me that being a working mom is hard work. But during maternity leave and other times when I had a week off here or there I also came to the realization that staying home is just as hard, if not harder. Both lifestyles have their challenges. I feel I can now empathize with women in both situations.
But just for kicks, here are a few things I will
not miss about working full time:
- having to wake my kids up before the sun comes up (in the winter) rather than let them awake on their own
- listening to my older son throw a fit now and again because we can't just stay home and snuggle (this just breaks your heart when he says "but I need you!")
- having my baby follow me around the house bawling his eyes out because all he wants to do is be held and I have to finish getting ready so we can leave (and the guilt that comes with this nearly every day)
- trying to get out the door with one kid on my hip, one reaching for my hand and at least four bags on my arms as we make our way down two flights of stairs to the car
- spending nearly an hour and a half driving home each night, half of that time with fussy kids who are overtired and hungry and don't understand why there's traffic
- barely seeing your kids during the week due to work and all that time commuting
- worrying about what to pack for lunch every day (especially difficult when peanut butter is not allowed!)
- being tethered to my blackberry: it will take a while to break the habit but I'm so glad I don't have to stress about what might have happened once I get home at night or on the weekends and whether I need to login from home and work while my kids need me
- pumping and more pumping: I'm grateful I was able to breastfeed my boys but I really never want to see my pumping bag again!
- worrying about dropping off your kids when they are kind of sick but not so sick that you can justify another missed day of work
- feeling bad having to run out of the office at the end of every day even though everyone else is still working at full speed because you have to pick up your kids by a certain time
- coming home with fussy/hungry kids only to scramble for the next hour to put something on the table before they (or you) have a complete meltdown or feed them another peanut butter and honey sandwich
- basically, it all comes down to this: never feeling like your best is good enough because you can never give 100% to your work and your family -- at least that was my experience -- I know there are other women who handle the balance far better than I
Of course, there is much that I
will miss as well:
- the chance to drop off my kids after it's been a rough morning (let's be honest, some days it's a sweet relief -- especially if they decide to scream all the way to the babysitter's)
- having a separate time to myself, whether in the car or at my desk, where no little person is demanding my attention
- being part of something "bigger": while I realize the most important work I'll ever do will be inside the walls of my own home there's still something about being part of a team that you really believe is making an important difference
- going along with the last one, when I was able to take a deep breath and look around I realized how fortunate I was to be working for one of 100 senators in the heart of our nation's capital -- it was hard to see that go
- developing my professional talents/skills and taking pride in my professional identity which has been so much a part of who I am during my 20s
- daily chats and rants with my coworkers: I had fabulous, extremely talented coworkers, many of whom became like family to me and I will dearly miss having regular contact with them but I will definitely do my best to keep in touch
- the excitement: working in press on Capitol Hill meant every day was different, breaking news could change everything -- I'm sure it will be an adjustment to not live at the mercy of 24-7 breaking news
- the challenge: while stressful at times I will miss troubleshooting problems or rising to a new challenge as more responsibility was handed my way -- from building a new website to blogging to video editing to speech writing to scheduling and staffing interviews and writing press releases and coordinating press conferences -- it was such a time of growth for me and a boost to my self-confidence which I have struggled with throughout my life
- last but not least: my gorgeous surroundings -- the Russell Senate office building is amazing and seeing and walking to and from the Capitol itself regularly was always a thrill (not to mention having a staff i.d. that allowed me in the underground tunnels and in other "off limits to the public" places on the Hill)
Leaving the workforce was definitely bittersweet but I am more than ready to be home with my babies for a time. I got lucky too getting to "retire" at the same time as the senator. When I told him my plans at the office Christmas party he couldn't have been more excited for me. He lit up, patted me on the back and told me I was making a decision I would never regret. And I know he was right...I'll just have to remember that when things get crazy at home and I don't have anyone to blame but myself. ;)
